Rex Mackrill, a 65-year-old man from Tetbury, Gloucestershire, has shared reflections on his life following a diagnosis of incurable prostate cancer. He expressed regret over carrying childhood trauma for decades without understanding its impact.
Mr Mackrill, who regularly monitored his PSA levels due to a family history of prostate cancer, received a diagnosis of incurable stage four prostate cancer after a raised test result. He underwent chemotherapy, which he said took a significant physical toll, and now experiences side effects like intense fatigue from hormone treatment, leading him to stop his job as a GP practice manager.
Years before his cancer diagnosis, Mr Mackrill discovered the cause of his long-standing anxiety at age 60 when a life coach suggested he had trauma. He was later diagnosed with PTSD, which he believes stemmed from childhood abuse. He sought help through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which he says reduced his anxiety levels significantly.
As he comes to terms with terminal cancer, Mr Mackrill says his priorities remain focused on his family, but his ability to be present in moments has changed. He now finds joy in ordinary experiences and is preparing for death by writing poetry, donating possessions, and participating in sessions at Longfield Hospice to discuss end-of-life plans.