Award-winning poet Hollie McNish has told a large audience at Latitude Festival in Suffolk that the concept of virginity is a 'man-made myth' that has been given undue power. The Cambridge-based writer, 43, whose latest collection is titled 'Virgin', expressed her profound discomfort with the word, stating it is her 'least favourite' in the English language.
McNish recounted her own experience of losing her virginity at 19, revealing she scrutinised her reflection for half an hour, anticipating a physical transformation. She also worried her parents might perceive a change in her at the dinner table. She emphasised that while life is full of 'first times', no other experience is marketed as being potent enough to fundamentally alter one's 'entire state of being' from 'virgin' to 'non-virgin'.
The poet highlighted the historical and cultural impact of the term, noting its use across various societies to control, shame, praise, and define individuals, particularly women. She drew parallels to historical periods that 'spoke positively of slavery and stoning' to underscore her point about the arbitrary nature of the concept. McNish pointed out the gendered aspect of virginity, recalling her childhood understanding that Mary's virginity made her special, while Joseph's was never mentioned.
McNish hopes her work will empower young people to embrace their bodies and consensual sexual experiences without feeling a sense of impurity or shame. She candidly shared that her own first sexual encounter was 'nice' and did not cause pain, challenging the 'horrendous narrative' that associates first-time pain with a marker of purity. She humorously added, 'I lost nothing except a sandal'.
Hollie McNish, who reaches millions through her books, performances, and social media videos, has become one of the UK's most widely shared poets. Her journey into poetry began at age seven, writing a furious verse about not being allowed a cat, and has continued as a method of coping and processing life experiences. Despite initially falling out of love with poetry due to school curriculum, she rediscovered her passion after university and built a full-time career from performing at open-mic nights.