A growing cultural emphasis on individual needs may be quietly eroding the intensity of romantic love, according to a new peer-reviewed study published in the journal Personal Relationships. Researchers from the University of Oxford and the University of Zurich analysed survey data spanning 30 years and found that people increasingly report lower levels of passionate love, commitment, and emotional closeness with their partners.
The study, led by Dr Eliza Whittington of Oxford’s Department of Experimental Psychology, examined responses from more than 10,000 participants across the UK and Europe. It found that the shift towards individualism — valuing personal autonomy, career goals, and self-expression over collective obligations — correlates strongly with a decline in the intensity of romantic relationships. “We’re seeing a gradual but consistent pattern where people prioritise their own needs above those of the partnership,” Dr Whittington explained.
This trend is not limited to romantic love. The researchers note that broader social bonds, including friendships and family ties, have also weakened over the same period. However, the impact on romantic relationships is particularly pronounced because they rely on a balance of personal satisfaction and mutual sacrifice. The study controlled for factors such as age, income, and relationship length to isolate the effect of cultural values.
For UK society, the findings carry practical implications. Lower intensity of love may contribute to higher rates of relationship breakdown, loneliness, and mental health challenges. The researchers suggest that couples may need to consciously invest in shared activities and community connections to counteract the pull of individualism. “It’s not about returning to outdated social norms,” Dr Whittington said, “but about recognising that strong relationships require deliberate effort beyond self-fulfilment.”
The study adds to a growing body of research on the social costs of individualism, including work by sociologists at the London School of Economics that links rising loneliness to cultural shifts. While the findings do not predict the end of love, they highlight a tension between modern values and emotional intimacy. The authors call for further research into how digital culture and economic pressures may be accelerating the trend.