A 17-year-old has voiced concerns about their maturity, feeling like an outlier among peers due to a strong aversion to graphic content, alongside disinterest in drugs, alcohol, and romantic relationships. The teenager described attempts to desensitise themselves to films featuring explicit violence and sex as deeply uncomfortable, leading to a retreat to media with 'moderate' or 'mild' classification ratings.
This internal conflict has prompted questions about whether their sensitivities reflect immaturity or a reluctance to engage with the 'real world'. The individual expressed worry about halting personal psychological and emotional development by catering to these fears, despite believing that this aspect of their personality should not define relationships.
Eleanor Gordon-Smith, an advice columnist, addressed the teenager's concerns, highlighting the common bundling of various 'adult' themes like drugs, sex, relationships, and violence in media classifications. However, she suggested it could be beneficial to differentiate between experiences one isn't ready for and those one genuinely dislikes and sees no reason to ever embrace. For instance, an aversion to romantic or sexual depictions might simply mean one isn't ready, similar to a teenager not wishing to role-play parenting despite potentially desiring children later in life.
Gordon-Smith drew a distinction when it comes to depictions of violence, posing ethical questions about the enjoyment of such content. Sharing her own similar sensitivities, she challenged the notion that one 'should' enjoy simulations of extreme suffering, even while acknowledging counterarguments. These include the value of storytelling, aesthetic experiences, and the historical idea, dating back to the Greeks, that fiction can offer a safe space to process difficult emotions like grief and fear.
Ultimately, the advice suggests that maturity has little to do with conforming to peer pressure regarding consumption of graphic content or alcohol. Instead, Gordon-Smith posits that true maturity is about understanding and accepting oneself, learning to be authentic in ways that are also considerate of others. She encouraged the teenager not to view enjoyment of such content as a definitive line between maturity and immaturity, but rather to be calm and accepting of their own feelings.