The poignant tale of Shada Islam's loss of her mother, Abeeda Qamar ul Islam, serves as a stark reminder that while grief is an universal human experience, it can be coloured by the privilege of living in relative peace. The news came via an early-morning phone call to Islamabad, detailing her mother's struggle to breathe in an emergency ward in Karachi. Just hours before, their birthday conversation had been filled with laughter and discussions about family plans for the summer, including a suggestion from Islam that her mother join her in Belgium.
Upon arriving in Karachi, Islam found her mother lucid and responsive, sharing stories of her great-granddaughter's photographs. However, a deep sadness reportedly descended upon her mother the evening before, following their birthday calls, attributed to a difficult past year which included the loss of Islam's younger sister and a close friend.
The days that followed saw an outpouring of condolences from across the globe, with personal tributes revealing previously unknown facets of Abeeda Qamar ul Islam's life. Former students recalled acts of kindness, friends shared decades-old conversations, and neighbours led prayers at her grave. A small gathering of remembrance saw Islam pay tribute to her mother's laughter, compassion, elegance, love of poetry, devotion to students, and deep spirituality.
It was during a sleepless night that Islam reflected on the profound sorrow she felt, but also acknowledged the significant privilege it entailed. She was raised by parents who championed independence, tolerated rebellious streaks, and welcomed an intercultural marriage with open arms. This realisation led to a broader contemplation: the ability to mourn openly and honour a loved one with a proper funeral and burial is often denied to those caught in the brutal realities of war zones like Gaza and Sudan.
The article serves as a poignant reminder that while grief is a universal human experience, the opportunity to process it through traditional rites and communal support can be a luxury afforded only by those living in relative peace. It highlights the stark contrast between personal loss experienced in peaceful settings and the unimaginable suffering of those whose loved ones die in conflict, often without a trace, a shroud, or a grave.
Islam's account underscores the importance of acknowledging this disparity and appreciating the fundamental human right to mourn. The story serves as a stark reminder that the experience of grief can be coloured by privilege, with many around the world denied the opportunity to process their loss in traditional ways.
Source: Shada Islam