The common scenario of friends opting to split a restaurant bill equally, even when orders vary significantly, is creating a social minefield for many across the UK. Despite some individuals ordering expensive items while others stick to more modest choices, the suggestion to divide the total evenly often goes unchallenged, leaving some diners feeling short-changed.
Ella, a 23-year-old communications assistant from Leeds, illustrates this dilemma. Earning over £30,000, she often finds herself in situations where friends suggest more expensive outings than she can comfortably afford. Rather than speak up, she admits to matching her friends' orders to avoid feeling awkward or, in more extreme cases like holidays, secretly borrowing money from her mother to cover costs. She highlights that money is rarely discussed within her friendship group, even when booking a four-night beach holiday costing around £680 each for flights and accommodation.
This reluctance to discuss personal finances openly with friends is widespread. Research conducted by the Money and Pensions Service (MaPS) in 2025 revealed that only four in ten adults feel comfortable talking about money with their friends. The study also highlighted a significant gender disparity, with 39% of women feeling at ease discussing finances compared to 50% of men.
Financial experts suggest that early communication is key to navigating these situations. Laura Pomfret, chief executive of women's finance community Financielle, advises individuals to set expectations from the outset. She notes that while people fear ruining the atmosphere by speaking up, friends often respond positively to honesty about financial situations. Pomfret recommends deciding beforehand if an event is within budget, saving for it in advance, or giving a reason for not participating, such as saving for a holiday or investment, rather than simply stating an inability to afford it.
Some friendship groups have successfully adopted a more open approach to money. Chloe, 31, a tech startup owner earning around £80,000, shared that her group is very transparent about salaries and affordability, a habit forged through shared tough times. This openness allows them to say things like, "I can't afford that this month – can we do it next month instead?" which helps break down the 'wall of shame' often associated with discussing money. Chloe also mentioned that with her higher income, she sometimes covers expenses for friends who are between jobs, ensuring they can still socialise together.
However, even with open communication, pitfalls can arise. Mark Fullilove, a marketing manager from Birmingham, noted that while his friends always pay for what they order, there can still be shortfalls at the end of a meal if items are forgotten or the tip isn't factored in correctly, leading to minor awkwardness.
Source: Money and Pensions Service (MaPS), Financielle