A disturbing trend is unfolding in the UK, where parents are being sexually abused by their own children. The victims of this heinous crime are often forced to suffer in silence, overwhelmed by feelings of shame and guilt that make them hesitant to speak out. A recent surge in disclosures to support organisations highlights a profound gap in understanding and resources dedicated to addressing this issue.
Lucy*, a mother who was sexually assaulted by her son while he was still in his early 20s, described the experience as 'unthinkable'. Her case underscores the immense emotional toll carried by victims of child-to-parent abuse (CPA), who struggle to reconcile their love for their child with the trauma inflicted. Despite her son's conviction and a community order, Lucy felt isolated and unable to confide in her family due to the overwhelming feelings of humiliation and embarrassment.
Pegs, a social enterprise that supports those affected by CPA, has noted an increase in parents seeking help for sexual harm. A survey conducted among 188 parents revealed that 17% – predominantly mothers – had experienced sexual abuse from their children. The types of abuse reported include graphic assaults and attempted rapes, as well as inappropriate touching and high-risk sexual behaviours.
Professor Amanda Holt's recent research into CPA has brought attention to this previously underreported issue. Her analysis of data from 2,000 parents seeking help from a UK-based support service in 2023 found that 13% had experienced harmful sexual behaviour from their child. Of these, 96% were mothers, with the children involved ranging in age from five to 31 and 66% being male.
The research identified various forms of abuse, including sexual noises, simulated sex acts, sexual threats, physical violence like touching and thrusting, and non-contact behaviours such as voyeurism and exposure. Contributing factors are thought to include poor access to mental health support, social isolation, and increasing exposure to harmful sexual content online.