A London-based artist's latest portrait commission has turned out to be a journey of self-discovery as much as it is about capturing someone else's likeness. The brief for painting an 86-year-old man who had long desired a formal portrait seemed straightforward, but it quickly revealed the complexities of body image and self-perception.
The artist, with three years' experience under her belt, soon found herself navigating unexpected demands from the sitter. He requested in-person painting sessions, which meant commuting from London to Reading, and asked her to 'capture him', a request that proved more challenging than anticipated. It turned out they shared a common struggle: difficulty in objectively identifying their own appearance.
When she sent an 80% finished photograph to the client for feedback, he was brutally honest – or so it seemed at first. He said he didn't recognise the man in the portrait, claiming his eyes were kinder, his hair fuller, and his smile brighter. The artist tried to 'flatter' him by creating a more idealised image, but even that failed to meet the sitter's expectations.
It was then that the artist had an epiphany – she realised that both she and her sitter held fixed, internal images of themselves that didn't necessarily align with their current physical appearance. This realisation led to a significant shift in her approach. Instead of focusing solely on replicating physical features, she began engaging in deeper conversations with the sitter about his life, dreams, and self-perception.
These conversations transformed the portrait into a dialogue between the artist's observation and the sitter's internal identity. The finished piece showed a more impish smile and a distinct glint in the eyes – characteristics that reflected the man's true essence as he perceived it. Unfortunately, the sitter passed away before seeing the completed artwork, although he had seen and approved of a work-in-progress.
The experience served as a profound moment of self-reflection for the artist. She acknowledged her own ongoing struggles with self-perception, admitting to focusing on perceived flaws and harbouring a desire for physical changes. The commission highlighted the widespread disconnect that many individuals experience when confronting their own image – a phenomenon that can border on dysmorphia.